Hey Buddy,
We are in Oroville, Ca. This is where mom and I grew up from birth. We're visiting family and staying with Papa T and Grandma. We are sleeping in the garage and I am writing because my love for you is immense as you lay next to mom and I.
We came down, also, for grandpa Herman Lackey's memorial. He would be your great grandfather. I am sure you will have no memory of him. I lived with him a long time. He was quiet, loved to hunt and fish, and could be grouchy at times. I just delivered his memorial message about him finishing strong. He really stepped up for grandma Joan in her last years and I am very proud of him for doing that.
Your platelets are still down. We started meeting with a Dr. Dana Matthews, a hematologist at Children's in Seattle. She thinks it is best not to treat and so we aren't. Trying to be careful with you. Lots of praying.
Your mother is due in 4 weeks with your baby brother or sister (we are choosing not to know just as we did with you). We're a little anxious about how you are going to react to the baby. You are not very fond of either of us holding other children. Even auntie Shanin held your cousin Noah and you were upset. I am sure you will be fine. You are so smart and I sense that you understand that this baby is special. You are such a kind, caring, thoughtful child, even at 2, that I am not worried. I would love for your platelets to rise by then. The baby has a bit of an irregular heartbeat and less health issues for our little family would be a great blessing.
You have been talking so much. Your newest phrase is "show me." You say "have" instead of "want" ("I have a cookie, mommy. Like cookie monster, mommy.") You amaze me everyday.
We have been doing a lot of praying lately. Lots of medical situations and they are all things out of our control. Your ITP, baby's heart, grandma and grandpa - none of it can be fixed by medicine. Maybe in your lifetime. We'll keep praying. Funny how these things really cause us to slow down and talk to the Lord. For a pastor, prayer has never come easy for me. It is not that I haven't seen the Lord work or even that I am too busy, it is just that I think I can do it myself, or that I can handle it. Plus, it is a little hard for me to pray for your ITP because I wonder why you got it, why other kids get diseases similar or worse than this, etc. My lack of understanding and lack of faith hinder me. I am confident that the Lord has not brought this on you. I am confident that Jesus is on the throne and about his business. I continue to pray for your healing, anyway, not understanding the process of how it all works. At this point it is hard for me to praise God for healing. I don't understand why some are healed and some aren't. I think it is best to praise God despite circumstances. Moreso, I pray that you grow up to be a man of prayer: that you would spend the majority of your morning and bed time praying. That in all things you would pray. I will do my best to develop discipline and habit to pass that on to you. In the end, prayer will have been the most important thing we will have done.
Use your words for good, they have the power of life and death. Use them to speak to the Lord, by doing so you worship Jesus and you are strengthened, filled and encouraged at the same time.
I love you and think you are amazing,
Dad
